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Post by OrthodoxBrit on Jan 4, 2013 3:53:14 GMT 2
Hi everyone, I just thought I would start up some discussion.
In the modern world, for both financial and emotional reasons, cohabitation is becoming more and more popular. From a financial viewpoint it seems sensible for people to live together and share the costs though the Church has always held a negative view on it to the point that the Church of Greece spoke strongly on the matter saying "The Church accepts and blesses the established wedding, according to Orthodox traditions, and considers any other type of similar relationship to be prostitution."
From your personal experience and views, what do you think about the Church's view on cohabitation? Should there be times when it is acceptable or is this just another example of Social morality changes conflicting with Christian morality?
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Post by immerlein on Jan 4, 2013 13:11:35 GMT 2
I personally believe comparing it to prostitution is a bit harsh!
I think there are moral and immoral ways of cohabiting, myself. Living together doesn't need to mean you sleep together, or even in the same room! I know for some people, it might lead to sin, but certainly not for all. If you have separate rooms, I don't think there is really any problem. You could possibly even share (but you'd have to be very careful!)
At any rate, I certainly don't think it's like prostitution...
It makes life a lot easier, makes moving out of home easier, starting your adult life away from your parents a lot easier, etc.. (people don't get married that young nowadays.)
I cohabited before getting married (which I did at 20) because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to afford to move out. My home situation was not good, and I was going to be charged to live there anyway. I didn't even consider the fact it could be a sin at the time, though. Just never thought about it.
But yeah, it really depends ^^;
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oroles
Monastic
Member of the Romanian Orthodox Church
Posts: 12
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Post by oroles on Jan 4, 2013 13:49:27 GMT 2
In my personal opinion, living together, even if not sleeping together kind of takes away magic of the moment when you are married and live together as husband and wife.
I think the best way is to not cohabitate before marriage.
But like others have said, due to financial reasons it is more likely that two people will move in together. Even so there are cases of christian couples who will abstain.I once read a case where a boy and a girl slept in the same bed for almost a year, but never had any sexual contacts at all.For some reasons they could not get married either, so they came up with this solution. Of course there were temptations, but it worked for them.
But this way can be hard for some people, and can easily succumb to tempation, that's why there shouldn't be any cohabitation before marriage.This choice of living together should come as a last last resort, not necessarily because you want to move away from your parents and start an adult life.
But here it differs from one to another. Nevertheless, I think this choice should be taken together with a spiritual father. (^0^)
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Post by theophilus79 on Jan 4, 2013 20:58:52 GMT 2
There are often couples that have had children, later on becoming religious and wishing to become active members of their church. In their cases, our priests will advise them to live as brother and sister (no sex, no sexual contact or acts) until they are able to become man and wife in the Church (not secularly). They do this because with parenting and having homes, mortgages etc, it would place undue stress on the couples, and may cause them to lose their desire to rejoin the church. This is of course, not an ideal situation, but this is what they do in the Kansas, Texas, Oklahoma area. (Oriental Orthodox)
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Post by Vlad on Jan 7, 2013 1:19:29 GMT 2
I see absolutely no justification for sexual relations before marriage. It does not appear anywhere in, well, Christiainity, so I don't think there should be leniency on the matter if it gets to that degree.
Personally, I would lean against living together before marriage, since it always opens doors for temptation. And perhaps such a thing should be reserved specifically for married life. As oroles said, it takes away from the moment.
But as always, it is a case-by-case basis. Living together simply does not work for some couples, and for others, it strengthens their relationship. I think that one's Spiritual Father should always be informed, so that they can receive spiritual guidance.
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oroles
Monastic
Member of the Romanian Orthodox Church
Posts: 12
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Post by oroles on Jan 22, 2013 14:10:51 GMT 2
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Post by simplyorthodox on Jan 22, 2013 22:34:11 GMT 2
To me, as soon as the couple is not sleeping together, is not a sin. Just to live with a person before marriage, by simply sharing a house with him/her doesn't mean it's a sin.
As oroles said, that's definatelly something the person has to discuss with his spiritual father.
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Post by Vlad on Jan 23, 2013 2:49:49 GMT 2
Like I mentioned with the music thing, I don't think there is an actual law or ruling stating that a man and woman living together prior to marriage is a sin. However, we have to recognize what sin is. Sin is missing the mark, failing to live a life in unification with God. If a man and woman live together and this causes them to somehow come into disunity with God or "miss the mark", this will create problems, and is thus a sin.
In all things we should practice caution. Living together is okay for some people and for others it is dangerous.
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Post by OrthodoxBrit on Jan 23, 2013 8:48:48 GMT 2
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